Sitting With the Thing

This happens spontaneously and automatically to me. In me? Through me? Something is said, often seemingly mundane, and I suddenly latch onto it and before I know it, I’m plunging all the way down to the bottom of the ocean with it. Sometimes I’m able to cup it and hold it close allowing for a smooth descent with little struggle; other times I have to grapple with it a little, dragging it behind, fighting the water’s resistance. But there’s a Force in me that takes over during these times and wrestles with the thing and the water because the Force knows it’s important for me to sit with the thing in the quiet at the bottom of the ocean. Then I sit on the bottom of the sea floor and examine the thing, turning it over to explore every angle of it and wonder how it interacts with the world around me. Depending on my level of enthusiasm and/or clarity, I might rocket off the seafloor and burst through the water’s surface with excitement. Other times, I might approach the threshold between the water and the rest of the world with caution and near silence, but eventually I swim to the surface for air and will often show off the thing to those around me and ask their thoughts on whatever it is I’m holding and pondering. I might dive down deep again to take another look and sit with the thing a while longer. When I come back up again, I am changed. I can’t describe it any other way other than I now know something I didn’t know before and my absolute core is changed.

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